“Fill In” by Myouterspace
Submitted by Rhonda Eudaly Simpson
INT. ZENOIDS SHIP. BRIDGE.
KOZMO wrenches under the control panel. Above him, the main viewscreen shows only fuzzy static. ORBIT the dog licks his face and nods toward a JAMMED PART. Kozmo shoos Orbit away. ZARA taps her foot impatiently.
ZARA
Crashing on the planet is not my idea of making a splashy entrance.
KOZMO
I'm giving it all I've got. Classic ships call for classic repair techniques.
Her tapping increases in tempo. Kozmo’s hand shoots out from under the panel to still her foot. Zara taps her other foot. Kozmo’s elbow sprouts a new, wet and webby hand to stop it. Zara’s eyes slim to slits, and her toes sprout new little feet that all begin to tap. Kozmo’s eyes roll back in his head and his new hand sprouts pods that slam all Zara’s down.
Zara’s grimace turns to a smile. So does Kozmo’s. ZIRI and IGGY make disgusted faces at their parents’ lovey-dovey act:
ZIRI
Seriously? You guys are flirting just before we explode? Um... priorities?
IGGY
Just think what the crash investigation would look like.
ZIRI
EWWWW!
Kozmo eyes the jammed part and bangs it with his wrench. The screen turns on. Orbit smirks, and Kozmo shoves him.
ON SCREEN: a blaring music video of Ziri’s favorite rocker, six-armed BLANDO singing and playing three silly instruments.
ZIRI (CONT’D)
SWEET! Premium Feed! That's Blando's Pay-Per-View show. He's playing the same planet we are.
IGGY
It's not a pet, Ziri.
ZARA
I'm sure your father will fix both the ship and the feed. We shouldn't distract him from not killing us.
KOZMO
That's got it!
Kozmo hits a button. Iggy, Zara and Orbit jump back, screeching. A HUGE ASTEROID fills the screen.
ZIRI
You turned off Blando! Uncool! Just because some dumb asteroid is gonna hit us... O-M-G, it’s gonna hit us!
Everyone freaks out. Kozmo hits the ignition, but the ship doesn’t start. He hits button after button...
ZARA
It's not a sound system! You can't just keep hitting buttons until something works!
Kozmo has an idea - he runs full tilt at the side of the ship, right into a porthole - his face SPLONK on the window.
He falls back, sees mini-asteroids orbiting his head - Orbit eats them one by one until Kozmo bats them away.
KOZMO
How's that
IGGY
Dad, you can’t push the ship from inside! It breaks the law of momentum conservation!
ZIRI
Like you know anything about that.
Iggy runs off the bridge. Orbit follows him –
INT. ZENOIDS SHIP. HANGAR.
- to Iggy’s WARP CYCLE. Iggy jumps in and zooms out, throwing a grappling hook that Orbit catches and hooks to the wall.
EXT. ZENOIDS SHIP AND ASTEROID.
The grappling line pulls taut, and Iggy cheers - only to be yanked back down in his seat. The ship is too heavy, yanking his warp-cycle back and sending it circling the ship -
And then Iggy’s grapple line makes the Zenoids’ ship SPIN -
BACK INSIDE
Kozmo, Zara and Ziri are flattened to the wall - a tangle of alien parts SQUISHED into a confused, flat puzzle.
KOZMO
Must. Reach. Inertial. Dampener.
ZARA
Must. Not. Vomit. On. New. Shoes.
ZIRI
That's the way to stay positive!
IN THE HANGAR
A spinning Orbit hangs onto the rope with his teeth - and sees Iggy in trouble at the other end of the rope. On the hook is a switch that says “RETURN”. Orbit stretches his butt back to hit it - but misses. The spinning throws off his timing. Orbit tries to sit on the switch again and again - until he nails it.
Orbit the hero! Until he sees the warp cycle careening in - right for him - but the warp cycle lands perfectly in its own dock, ala Ace Ventura parking a car.
ON THE BRIDGE
The spin halts, tossing everyone against the screen image of the asteroid. BONK. They fall to the floor as Iggy and Orbit enter:
IGGY
I gave it my best shot.
KOZMO
Is the room still spinning, or is it just me?
ZARA
It's just you, dear. My turn.
Zara grabs a plunger. She puts on a helmet, and the spacesuit immediately covers her body. She jumps out the airlock -
The ship suddenly jerks to the side.
ON SCREEN: the asteroid sails across the screen.
BACK IN THE PORTHOLE
The Zenoids squish all their faces together to watch the rock harmlessly go by. Zara joins them.
ON THE BRIDGE
Zara’s spacesuit is coated with goo.
ZIRI
Space slime. Why does it always have to be space slime?
KOZMO (sniffing the air)
I don't think that's slime.
IGGY
You threw something, right? Momentum Conservation?
ZARA
Uh...sure.
ZIRI
What did you throw, Mom?
KOZMO
It wasn't so much she threw as...flushed.
IN SPACE
The GLOB in space gets SPLATTENED by the asteroid. A spurt of sewage comes back and hits the porthole full of Zenoid faces.
ON THE BRIDGE
EVERYONE
Ewwwwwwwww. Blah. Urk. Yaaaarg.
The floor begins to tilt. ONSCREEN: the planet Zeno.
IGGY
Dad, we're being pulled in! We’ll burn up! Do something!
EXT. SPACE. SHIP AND PLANET ZENO.
The ship hits the atmosphere, flaming like a meteor.
BACK INSIDE
Kozmo tries to hot-wire it, yanking out wires and jamming them together, shocking himself and steaming his skin.
The console shorts out. Flames and smoke fly past the windows. Kozmo sweats. His sweat pools onto the floor, where tiny crabs and fish leap about.
ZIRI
Dad! You're not the Zenoid Ignited College Fund. Your mind is a terrible thing to baste!
Kozmo has an idea - runs -
INT. ENGINE ROOM
Kozmo opens a hatch in the floor by the engine, closes his eyes and sticks his hand into the flames surrounding the ship. His arm comes back black, with a little flame on the end - which he shoves into the engine - it IGNITES -
KOZMO
Yow!
ON THE BRIDGE
The engines are on! Iggy grabs the steering column -
IGGY
Woo Hoo! Just like Grand Theft Spaceship! Let's mow down some street aliens.
- but Iggy can’t pull the ship out of the dive!
OUTSIDE THE SHIP
The planet rushes up -
INTERCUT WITH THE BRIDGE AND THE LOOMING GROUND
- as Zara grabs onto Iggy to help him pull the steering column, Ziri grabs onto her, Kozmo arrives to help. It’s still not enough. Orbit bites Kozmo’s butt and yanks - and puts his paws over his eyes.
EXT. PLANET ZENO.
The ship pulls level at the last second and skids along the ground. Once it stops, the landing gear pop out, shoving the ship up and letting the boarding ramp fall. Kozmo crawls down the hatch and kisses the ground.
The rest of Zenoids follow: Iggy jumps around, hooting, carrying Orbit, paws still over his eyes. Ziri’s on her music player and Zara’s carrying sandwiches.
IGGY
You can open your eyes, Orbit. It's safe.
ZIRI
This is it? Couldn't we have landed backstage at a Blando concert?
ZARA
Sure because life's just that fair. Come on, we've got a gig. We're professionals. Professionals with sandwiches.
Orbit leaps from Iggy’s arms and licks Kozmo’s face.
KOZMO
All is forgiven, boy? Behold the power of sandwiches.
THE END